Working Backwards

Future

I don’t know what lies ahead. The future remains unknown.

How can we prepare for the future when we don’t know how and what events will unfold? I have been trying to solve a problem that has not exist. Fixing my future. Many of us are caught up with busy schedules, week after week, I doubt we even have time to reflect on the future. And when there is so much ahead in time that lies unknown, it makes it unproductive to even start thinking about the future. But I do it. I think there is a way to properly future-proof one’s career, for example. I think the way to move forward is to work backwards.

Working backwards allows me to choose a future I want and work backwards from there. A lot of my reflections concern with how to get from here to there. I choose my future. Then build a possible route where I can get from here and now, to there and then.

Coexistence

The boundaries can become blurred. You’re so close. Where do you end? Where do I begin?  When does the present end, and where does the future begin? Envisioning the future a lot can make it seem that I am already living in the future. It is like manifestation and the idea is to believe, and believe hard. I am already there. I have made it. The work has paid off. The journey is going to be a fulfilling one, the journey is a fulfilling one, the journey has been a fulfilling one. The past, the present, and the future coexist.

I think it was the block universe theory that says there is no “now” or present. Or rather, this is in my own invented words, there are several “nows” in what can be considered an omni-present. All moments that existed and will exist are co-happening with the present.

Loss

What did I lose? I lost dead weight. I lost baggage. I feel light and I am moving forward. I have moved on from the perceived setbacks from the past and have capitalised them as necessary expenses on the path of growth. Capitalised the costs incurred when building my dream. I choose to focus on the good stuff, what I have been given by the Universe. I am blessed.

Confession

I confess that I have not always been thankful of my blessings. I confess that I have not always done my best. I confess that I have gone for the stuff that are not good for me. I confess that I have paid more attention than I should have in maintaining the friendships with people that are only concerned with what is best for themselves. I confess that I did not treat my Twin Flame as best as I could. I confess that I squandered my blessings, especially her. That I was emotionally unavailable. I confess that I was too sceptical towards her, incredulous towards her insecurities, too lax towards her symptoms and somewhat running away from our connection. I confess that I have been guilty of being too passive in our connection, letting her do most of the work. I confess that I have still yet to completely learn the lessons my Twin Flame has been trying to teach me. I confess that sometimes I get distracted and do things that derail me from this spiritual journey our connection has put me on. I will work harder.

Determination

I will work harder. Days are long, but I’m determined to see progress each day. There is work to finish with amazing opportunities given to me to fight hard and show my potential. I will work harder. Days are long, but I’m determined to see progress each day. I will move forward.

Reunion

The reward of hard work. And letting fate do her thing. It is hard to / why can’t I — see it unfolding now, but it will be there. What I look all over for is / I close my eyes in doubt at — something that is just standing right before me. There is no need to search for / all that I need will surely be — something that has always been there.